Ripping Jack
by Cytisinth
Summary: The ballad of Jack, also known as Experiment 188.


Disclaimer: Piewolvesandsuch, not me, owns the experiments 188, 189, 147, and 024. Moreover, this parody is not completely grammatically correct, but very few songs are. (Exception: "This Diamond Ring" by Gary Lewis and the Playboys.) You also should know that I wrote out the chorus every time it was supposed to appear in the song. Lastly, if you don't know what the "id" is, I'd like to say that it's the "bad" part of the brain, according to Sigmund Freud.

Ripping Jack

(To the tune of "Happy Jack," but with more verses)

Ripping Jack was Experiment One-Eight-Eight

His talent was killing; he did it great

The word spread that he'd kill whatever he glanced

So he lived in a cage to get rid of the chance

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

They were very glad that

From them, he'd been hid

But it didn't stop Jack from all his bloodlusting

And they couldn't prevent Jack from any ripping

---

He could hide in the shadows; his fur was jet-black

Four silver-clawed arms were all sprouting from Jack

He had a sharp spike at the end of his tail

Whomever he stung, he could hear their mind wail

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

They were very glad that

From them, he'd been hid

But it didn't stop Jack from all his bloodlusting

And they couldn't prevent Jack from any ripping

---

Jack's worst nemesis was One-Four-Seven

For her, tormenting Jack was just like Heaven

She dragged along her best friend, Zero-Two-Four

Sadly, her talent was to open locked doors

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

They were very glad that

From them, he'd been hid

But it didn't stop Jack from all his bloodlusting

And they couldn't prevent Jack from any ripping

---

One day, Jack met Experiment One-Eight-Nine

She was water-based, and had beauty divine

One-Eight-Nine showed great compassion for Jack

Strangely, though, he showed great affection back

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

They were very glad that

From them, he'd been hid

But it didn't stop Jack from all his bloodlusting

And they couldn't prevent Jack from any ripping

---

He gave her a parasite known as a pup

Jumba decided that the gig was up

In order to tie up the future loose ends

He forbade Jack to see One-Eight-Nine again

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

They were very glad that

From them, he'd been hid

But it didn't stop Jack from all his bloodlusting

And they couldn't prevent Jack from any ripping

---

The experiments each got a tracking device

So as to not evade Jumba's four watchful eyes

Jack soon attempted to leave with his mate

She succeeded, not so much One-Eight-Eight

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

They were very glad that

From them, he'd been hid

But it didn't stop Jack from all his bloodlusting

And they couldn't prevent Jack from any ripping

---

One-Eight-Nine went to the planet of Keehar

Jack, however, did go quite more far

He went to the humans' home planet of Earth

He disguised himself as a dog on their turf

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

Now, out in public

He would obey his id

Jack was driven by all his bloodlusting

No one could prevent Jack from any ripping

---

One night on a beach, for no reason to tell

Jack attacked Six-Hundred, also known as Estelle

Estelle's husband, Ozzy, also Six-Two-Five

Vowed to make sure Jack stopped being alive

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

Now, out in public

He would obey his id

Jack was driven by all his bloodlusting

He'd just practiced a non-fatal ripping

---

Jumba got Ozzy, Pleakley, and also Stitch

To hunt down the creature who for blood would itch

While in the woods, they were caught by surprise

When they met One-Four-Seven with vengeance in mind

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

Now, out in public

He would obey his id

Jack was driven by all his bloodlusting

No one could prevent Jack from any ripping

---

Soon, in an old house, they met up with Jack

He was shaded by darkness, 'cause his fur was black

Notwithstanding, an insult the group delivered

A notorious murderer, they murdered

Jack scared the others

He did, did, did

No longer in public

And he couldn't use his id

All his life, Jack was needlessly bloodlusting

But nothing could prevent Jack from any ripping

---

Wow…I'm kind of astounded. This practically wrote itself. Seriously, it did.

Anyway, did you enjoy that? If you did, that's good, because I have at least five more song parodies planned. (I'd tell you about them, but that would ruin the element of surprise.)


End file.
